x_hardcandy_x

mmmk well today this guy whom ive been mentioning
forgot to call
and he had to take his father into the hostpital because something is wrong with his foot

i was going calorie free today but sadly around three oclock
i had a piece of leftover roastbeef before i knew it
i honestly didnt even remember eating it until i had it in my hands
horrible? yes
fixable? no

i have been trying to give up purging
as well as smoking
and being mean as well

i can truthfully say i am mean to some select few people 
but im working on it

anyways i am watching runaway jury
i hope to be a lawyer when i grow up
i have wanted it for a while
it seems there is nothing else for me to do
for i am great at nothing

anyways todays question is 
ex best friend's 
ex boyfriend
off limits?
or fair game??

questionable

anyways working on being perfect for when i arrive back at school
i will surely need to start working on it hardcore though because
i am going shopping soon
no one wants to ask for a bigger size

honestly

Okay well i just woke up.
This guy whom i have been talking about will be calling me at one and its almost 12 30
So i dont quite know what Im going to do
Him and I are so different
Except in the ways that we think 
But thats about it
Im the hot girl
Most other girls hate me
I have an eating disorder and only my best friend knows because she is secretly developing one
i can tell
and im not optomistic about things because
i already know how they can and probably will turn out,
Im in ballet
I want to figure skate
and do well in school this year.
Like really good
while my friend is a bad influence but i dont care because shes beautiful and
she reminds me of myself. 
And i love her
shes rad
And i smoke daily
And i purge almost daily
and i usually dont go out with my best friends ex boyfriend.
but now she is my ex best friend
so where does that leave us?

Okay here is the guy
loves basketball
is never seen without his backpack on
is quite nerdy
has beautiful eyes.
is smart
a typical bad ass nerd i suppose
smokes
has a job at a grocery store
is funny
but takes things to serious
has skin problems and
listens to linkin park

and i know what will happen if we go out
My ex best friend will never speak to me
will possibly try to kill me
but wont succeed because she is really stupid
like honestly
And My current best friend whom i love till death will prolly not 
see me as much cause theyre completely different
and i dont know what to do
but i know what i will do and that is choose my friends over
a possible boyfriend.
but it would be nice to have a date to minter formal this year,
Wouldnt it?

Okaii 
So last night there was this huge lightning storm
like massive it kinda scared me
but whatever

Today its raining so i cant go for a run to get rid of
all this excess fat ive been eating
and school starts in under 3 weeks
im so screwed
for back to school shopping which sucks
I would love to be a size 0
i would give anything in fact

But im like that
ive my left arm to be thinner kind of girl
I really wish i had someone to talk to right now
cause im feeling like super depressed
not like i would kill myself depressed though
just lonely kinda

I need to clean my room
and have a cigarette
and do my makeup

that will cheer me up
nothing like having a smoke while curling your eyelashes
and backcombing your hair 
_nice day<3